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Pronouns
Also written: Pronouns, Personal pronouns, Gender pronouns, Preferred pronouns, Gender-neutral pronouns
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At a glance
Source-by-source
“Some intersex people may choose to use gender pronouns other than 'he' or 'she,' like 'they' or 'them' or 'zie' or 'hir.' Always ask intersex people what pronouns they would like you to use.”
interACT's guidance is the earliest in this corpus to name neopronouns like zie/hir alongside they/them as legitimate options, and centers the ask-first rule. The entry is written for intersex people specifically — always ask which pronouns they use — and the same ask-don't-assume logic carries across to any subject.
“When writing about a specific individual, ask what pronouns they use … Don't assume someone's gender on the basis of their appearance. … When you do not know someone's gender, and have no way of asking them, follow AP style by defaulting to a gender-neutral 'they' pronoun.”
Sierra Club's rule centers three operational steps: ask the individual, never assume from appearance, and default to singular 'they' when asking isn't possible. The guide treats gender-neutral pronouns as legitimate identification (not preference) and aligns with AP style for unknown-pronoun defaults.
“Ask survivors for their preferred pronouns and other identifiers.”
Color of Change's pronouns rule lives inside its broader survivor-interview ethics: ask, don't assume — and ask before any physical contact or identifier is recorded. The guide pairs the pronoun ask with name, identifier, and consent rules as a single interview standard. The 2022 'preferred pronouns' phrasing predates the post-2023 consensus rejecting that phrase (see APA, DSG, NLGJA, TJA).
“Do not use the term 'preferred pronouns' because this implies a choice about one's gender. Use the term 'pronouns' or 'identified pronouns' instead. … use the singular 'they' to avoid making assumptions about an individual's gender.”
APA's 2023 guidance crystallizes the post-2020 shift away from 'preferred pronouns': the term 'preferred' implies a choice that doesn't exist, since pronouns are simply the right way to refer to a person. The guide pairs this with the singular-'they' default for unknown pronouns.
“They/them/their are acceptable as nonbinary, singular pronouns if the subject uses them. … Avoid references to preferred pronouns because doing so implies that calling people other than what they want to be called is a viable alternative. Avoid references to chosen pronouns because they are not always chosen.”
DSG rejects both 'preferred pronouns' and 'chosen pronouns' on the same logic: 'preferred' falsely implies an alternative exists, and 'chosen' falsely implies they are always chosen. The entry accepts neopronouns like zie/zim/zis if requested and notes some people use rolling pronouns (he/they, she/they). When a passage is genuinely ambiguous, recast — don't avoid the pronoun.
“Use of they/them/their as singular, gender-neutral pronouns is common enough to not require explanation. Do not avoid or write around these pronouns. … Avoid the term preferred pronouns, as it implies that calling people other than what they want to be called is a viable alternative.”
NLGJA's 2025 stylebook treats singular they/them as standard usage that doesn't need explanation, and explicitly bars writers from writing around someone's pronouns as a workaround. The entry rejects 'preferred pronouns' on the same APA/DSG/TJA logic and notes neopronouns like zie/zim/zis are acceptable with a brief explanation when requested.
“When interviewing a trans source, ask what pronouns they want published. Some sources may request that you use different pronouns for publication than in person. … Avoid the phrase preferred pronouns. Someone's pronouns are not a preference, but rather the only appropriate way to refer to that person.”
TJA's guidance distinguishes between in-person and published pronouns — sometimes a safety distinction — and treats respect for that distinction as non-negotiable. The 'preferred spelling of a name' analogy is TJA's sharpest framing of why 'preferred pronouns' fails: pronouns are simply the correct form, not an option. TJA also explicitly bars writing around someone's pronouns and treats singular they as standard, citing AP Stylebook 56th edition.
Synthesis
The pronouns entry holds the chapter’s strongest cross-source consensus, and the rule is concrete: drop “preferred pronouns.” APA, DSG, NLGJA, and TJA all explicitly reject the phrase, on the same logic. APA’s framing: “Use ‘pronouns’ rather than ‘preferred pronouns’ (which implies choice).” DSG extends the rule to “chosen pronouns,” which fails for the parallel reason that pronouns aren’t always chosen. TJA’s analogy: “There is no such thing as a ‘preferred spelling’ of someone’s name, for example.” The shift is post-2020. Color of Change’s 2022 stylebook still uses “preferred pronouns,” and that reads as a date marker rather than a divergence. The post-2023 consensus is the operative rule.
A second consensus is equally settled: singular they is standard, doesn’t need explanation, and shouldn’t be written around. NLGJA’s 2025 stylebook states it plainly: “Use of they/them/their as singular, gender-neutral pronouns is common enough to not require explanation. Do not avoid or write around these pronouns.” TJA cites AP Stylebook (56th edition) and bars the workaround-by-recasting move; Sierra Club endorses singular they as the default when the subject’s pronouns are unknown and asking isn’t possible (DSG instead ties they to a subject who uses it, and recommends recasting a genuinely ambiguous passage). AP accepted singular they in limited cases in 2017, where alternative wording would be overly awkward or clumsy; the post-2020 corpus treats singular they as standard, not as a special case to flag.
The corpus is also clear on operational procedure. Three rules surface repeatedly. First, ask, don’t assume from appearance (Sierra Club, interACT, all the LGBTQ+-led journalism guides). Second, when you can’t ask, default to “they” (Sierra Club, NLGJA, TJA, AP-aligned). Third, neopronouns (zie/hir, zie/zim/zis) are legitimate and should be honored when requested: DSG and NLGJA accept them with a brief explanation if needed; interACT was the earliest in this corpus to name them. TJA adds one more: when a trans source uses different pronouns in person and in publication (often a safety distinction), respect both, and ask which to use in print.
Where the corpus shows the most evolution is in pace, not direction. The earlier guides (interACT 2017, Sierra Club 2021, Color of Change 2022) all teach the ask-don’t-assume rule; Color of Change’s 2022 entry still carries the “preferred pronouns” framing, while the 2023–2026 guides (APA, DSG, NLGJA, TJA) explicitly reject that framing and keep the same underlying operational rule. Respect for the pronouns a person uses is universal across the corpus; the surface vocabulary has converged in the past three years.
Audience notes
- Journalists and editors. Don’t write “preferred pronouns” or “chosen pronouns.” Use “pronouns” or, when adding context, “the pronouns she/he/they uses for themself” — NLGJA and TJA’s preferred constructions. Don’t write around someone’s pronouns as a workaround; if a passage is genuinely ambiguous, recast the sentence per DSG. Singular they is standard usage and doesn’t require parenthetical explanation.
- Default for unknown pronouns. Singular they (Sierra Club, NLGJA, TJA, AP-aligned). Do not default to “he/she” or “he or she” — both DSG and NLGJA reject these as the unknown-pronoun fallback. Don’t assume from name or appearance.
- Neopronouns. Zie/hir/hirs and zie/zim/zis are legitimate when requested; DSG and NLGJA accept them with a brief explanation when needed for readability. interACT’s earlier guidance (2017) is the same on substance — these aren’t fringe edges of the rule, they’re tail cases of the same self-ID principle.
- In-person vs. publication pronouns. TJA’s safety-aware rule: a source may use different pronouns in different contexts (often a safety distinction). When interviewing a trans source, ask which pronouns to use in print; if different, respect both contexts.
- The “ask first” rule extends past pronouns. interACT, Color of Change, Sierra Club, and TJA all pair the pronoun-ask with the broader ask-don’t-assume principle — name, identifier, contact, and consent for physical description. Pronouns are the canonical case but not the only one.
Related terms